Friday, September 7, 2012

LAST NITE AT FREEDON HALL POETRY OPEN MIC SHOW (true life story)


Me: Tonite I will be on stage and dazzle dem as usual
Brain: did u just say “I”? its we o, na only u dey do everything?
Voice: Yes, Olulu, tonite we will be on stage.

Me: guys, gimme a break, and do what u are supposed to do.
Brain: bros, u should learn to get credit to us too na. No be me dey think all d poems for u
Hand: yes o, na me dey write am o
Voice: and I help to modulate, control and bring it out as good as possible.

Me: yeah yeah, no b una job b dat. U should be happy I even decided to put u to work.
Brain: hmmm, bros, we fit go on strike o
Anus: who dey talk about strike?

Me: @anus, bros, no vex, no b u I dey talk to jare. Go on with ur work. @brain, hand and voice, u guys better behave, I don’t have time to fool around.
Voice: na we be fools abi? Ok o, ba yawa. Oya climb stage go perform na.

ON STAGE

Me: @ the people in the hall
My name is Olulu, and I…………. (the cheering of the people overshadows the intro), my poem is untitled, and it goes like dis.
         
              There are two ladies people find irresistible,
                Two ladies people believe they need around to be comfortable……….(silence)
                Sorry, let me take that again
                There are two ladies people find irresistible,
                Two ladies people believe they need around to be comfortable……….(silence)
               
Brain: oga olulu wetin happen na, u don hang?

Me: @brain, gimme the next lines na, y u wan mess ur guy up.
Brain: me? Give u next line? Bros, I dey off duty o, figure it out yourself.

Me: @brain, ha, y u dey do me like dis na, u wan wreck my career wey never even start?
Voice: u lucky say I gree u even talk, if for say I close shop too nko?
Hand: shebi u still fit carry mic, I go soon go sleep o.

Me: oya, oya, I take God beg una, make una no vex, I appreciate u guys, and I will never take u for granted again
Brain: hmmm, u sure? Cos next time, u no go even remember your name o. OK, oya continue, the next line na………………